Civility and kindness are two
things so crucial to people and yet sometimes so hard to find these days. It seems everywhere one looks today; there is another person looking to take advantage of a situation or a person. Often they will believe a person weak thereby making them a target because they are sympathetic to another, how unfortunate this is. Too often situations arise in our lives when we are overwhelmed by events in our own lives. Sometimes we are mired in traumatic events of our own and forget there are others in the world ho may be equally troubled. They forget their friends, family and co-workers, instead opting to hide within themselves or otherwise seek shelter. I know I am one of those who seek to become a hermit when I am hurting or trying to assimilate too much.
The last few years as you know have been full of betrayal and backstabbing for both me and others I know. It has been a sad time and even though I have hidden from much of it, isolated myself in some cases; I recognize that I must do more. I must remember I am not alone in the world and where and when I can, (without harming what I need) make sure I honor those others more.
Have we lost the ability to be civil to each other? Are we as a whole less kind? Maybe, or maybe it is more acceptable in some circles to be rude to another. I have seen it and have been the brunt of this kind of treatment, yet I have hope. I know when I read a blog post or a post on one of the social media sites and see comments that show another is listening, reading, and sometimes they have been touched by something that is said my heart warms. It doesn’t matter if it is my post or someone else’s, what it does say is that someone cares enough to respond.
Can women break the stereotype of the mean girl syndrome? Only if, we keep working towards it, things like this don’t happen overnight, it is one nice gesture after another. One woman at a time, one hand reaching out to another’s, without care for race creed, nationality, or financial status. That is what I believe will change the world.
This year I plan on making sure I read more peoples posts and make more comments. I want you all to know how much I learn, enjoy, and connect on many levels when I read your posts. If I only read your words you cannot know how much I take with me from them or how I value them if I make no comment?
When the stress got too much
And the burden too great
A dream I created
To help me through life
The black hole was too deep
To my soul it did go
For myself I had lost
Clinging tightly to life
Not a soul understood
None tried very hard
My reasons were lame
My mind in a mess
Many called me crazy
I suppose they were right
I was very busy
Clinging tightly to life
Illusions and visions
Brought me some light
To break the depression
To cease the hard fight
Like a phoenix I rise
Out of ashes and dust
Life returns to these limbs
My heart is made whole
I pick up the pieces
Relearn who I am
Pull strings back together
Of whom I once was
I will miss you forever
Our lives so entwined
Together so long
Now endlessly apart
Knowing you made me better
Though at the time I was less
Now our conflict is gone
My burden put down
A hug would have helped
A shoulder to weep on
A thought for the plight
When my strength was long gone
Instead the world left me
To handle it alone
The trips to hospital
And the fear for your life
To watch you decline
Alone and bereft
Like a phoenix I rise
With the gift you gave me
Copyright © 2012 Marta Moran
The aftermath of Hurricane Sandy has shown me once again what is wrong with our country. Too many of us have become unable to see past our own noses. Too many believe the world revolves around them. They have never grown up past childhood. We want miracles, instant changes, immediate results, even when it will be an uphill battle and the devastation are too deep, somehow it must happen fast because we want it.
This last week I have spent taking electrical outage calls. Once again I have been both touched by the kindness of some people and horrified by the lack of any attempt by others to understand or even care about others. Those who accepted the fact that Hurricane Sandy had left devastation in her wake, and others whose heads could not seem to get past the idea that sixty miles an hour winds are capable of taking down telephone poles, trees, and power lines. They seemed to believe that somehow their power begins and ends at their home and on their street; it is a miracle that arrives through the air by magical means. They do not want to believe in reality, possibly because they have never been faced with it, or when they have they have denied its very existence. It is an inconvenience to them.
We see it in our Congress, those who have chosen to bully and play chicken, in an attempt to get their way. It doesn’t matter to them whether or not the country as a whole goes under, nor how many are out of jobs. They live in an isolated world and reality is only about them and their group. These people believe their rights are more important than anyone else’s. Everything is always someone else’s fault; they take no blame for their part in it. Nor do they take any responsibility to make it better.
This attitude permeates our country; C.E.O.’s are using intimidation in an attempt to control the votes of their workers. Why? Because it is more relevant to them that they are able to build the largest house in the world, even though they cannot possibly use all of it, then it is for others to have a decent income, or the elderly in this country to be taken care of. They don’t even care that the earth is stripped of life, as long as they have their own way.
They do not know the difference between, a few cells that may one day become a baby, and a child who is living and breathing and without enough food or education to survive in our world. There doesn’t seem to be any care for the living child, only about controlling those things they have decided are wrong. Somehow, they have a direct line to God and no one else’s beliefs matter. Those who believe differently not only do not matter they are evil.
Politicians consider abortion to be acceptable for their mistress’ and not for their wife, daughter, or neighbor. There is talk about those that are mooches on society, and do not look at their own mooching. For they have never gone out and worked for a living, trying to bring home enough to feed and clothe their family. They have never been without, or if they were, the memory is so far in the past they have blocked it from their minds, choosing instead to pretend that state of being is only for the mooches, those that don’t work hard enough.
There are those who continually go out and do things to better the world, their neighbors, and those who have less than they do. Unfortunately, there are many who do not care what they do or say as long as they get their own way. They believe it is alright for them to lie, cheat, steal, or otherwise harm another if they get what they want. Those people are like the woman, I spoke to earlier this week, who said her child would just have to go hungry until the electricity came on, all because she couldn’t bother to move her disabled child to a safe place. It would then be someone else’s fault, for not providing her with a miracle. I have listened to people this week tell me they don’t care if a hospital’s power is up. That even though they had a generator, it was too inconvenient, and the hospital could wait, their power was more important. Many of these people appear to make no attempt to look at anything beyond their own wants. No sense of reality exists in their world.
I fear for our nation, which has so many people with little care or understanding of what their actions will cause for others, who’s only thought is of themselves and their own wants. I do not say needs because most of them are not in need. Too many do not understand the difference between a want and a need. For those that don’t understand the difference a want is a bigger home for instance, and a need is the ability to feed and clothe themselves and their families.
The other day I, unfortunately, made the mistake of listening to Ann Coulter for the first time. She was on the Piers Morgan show. I must admit from the beginning I took a dislike for this abrasive, rude woman. Yet, I watched until I could stomach her no more as she verbally pushed her own agenda on Piers Morgan.
I could not believe the number of times I heard her say things such as “you have one more minute on this subject,”, and it wasn’t once it was multiple times. Yet, it was an eye opener. For the first time, I realized how clueless people like Ann Coulter really were. She actually didn’t or couldn’t see how condescending and bigoted she really was. I wish I had a chance to interview her on some of her outrageous and racist remarks.
At one point, Piers Morgan had the following conversation with her.
MORGAN: Right. But John Sununu has assumed that was the motivation behind what Colin Powell has done. Colin Powell has never used that as the reason for why he's
voted for Obama.
COULTER: Yes, I think he's probably wrong. But I just don't think it's such a terrible thing to speculate about.
MORGAN: If you play the race card in putting into Colin Powell's mouth words he hasn't
actually used for his reasoning, that's just playing a race game, isn't it? A rather unpleasant race game.
COULTER: Maybe. But I bet there are a lot of black people who are very proud of having the first black president. I don't hold that against them.
MORGAN: That's totally irrelevant to what I just said. It's not about black people voting for a black president. It's about the motivation of Colin Powell, a four star retired general, great statesman, making a decision based as he put it very clearly on politics, on foreign policy, on issues. To then have that condensed by John Sununu to actually it's just because he's black and so is Barack Obama --
COULTER: But that's what your question was. MORGAN: You didn't answer it. You did a Sununu on me. You went off on some weird tangent.
COULTER: I don't think it's that weird tangent. I don't think it's that slanderous. I also don't think it's true.
MORGAN: What isn't true?
COULTER: That it's only because he's black and Colin Powell is liberal. So was John McCain.
MORGAN: You actually agree with me?
COULTER: I agree with the bottom line. I just think it's a tempest in a teapot. If it were the case if Colin Powell said I'm voting for him because he's the first black president, I wouldn't think that's outrageous.
Here, is the problem with this conversation and why I would have loved to ask her a question. My question would have been after this portion of the interview would have been. Ms. Coulter would you endorse Hillary Clinton for President because she is a blonde, white woman? Yes, it shows the absolute stupidity of her position.
Or maybe it shows the truth, Ms. Coulter only trust and believes white men who are as abrasive, rude, bigoted, and cynical as she is. She also thinks little of women in general.
A little later in the program the following conversation took place, after a break featuring a young pop star, who has the following ad out for Obama.
The first time shouldn't be with just anybody.
You want to do it with a great guy.
It should be with a guy with beautiful --
Someone who really cares about and understands women.
A guy who cares when you get health insurance and specifically whether you get birth control.
The consequences are huge.
My first time voting was amazing. It was this line in the sand. Before I was a girl. Now I was a woman.
I went to the polling station and pulled back the curtain. I voted for Barack Obama
COULTER: Yes, it's going to be my exhibit henceforth for both of the groups I want to take the vote away from, young people and women. All in one combo platter.
MORGAN: You would take away the female vote, would you?
COULTER: Yes. I have become quite famous for making that point.
MORGAN: What is the point?
COULTER: That it was a rash experiment and we should reconsider the 19th Amendment.
MORGAN: You called me in the break a sexist misogynist pig.
MORGAN: Can you explain why? What have I said that's been remotely
COULTER: Calm down. Oh, it is the conservative --
MORGAN: You were hyperventilating.
COULTER: I'm not hyperventilating. I'm disagreeing with you, which apparently is insulting your teeny tiny male ego. It is the most insulting, condescending, sexist thing to say to a female, generally conservative, who disagrees with you, no, it's my obligation to back down and accept your point. And if I don't, you're not being calm.
Ms. Coulter also went on to say that disabled people shouldn’t take offense because she called the President a retard.
What I discovered during this interview told me much about Ann Coulter, and more about the mindset of people who claim they aren’t racist or bigoted. They are so clueless, they cannot even see themselves for what they are or how stupid and damaging their statements are.
Ms. Coulter would not believe the world to be okay unless it was one where she was a man, able to control the world. Yes, you may think I am stupid for saying this statement, but how can any self-respecting woman want to take away women’s right to vote if she didn’t secretly want to be a man. The only other two explanations would be that either
she is in the closet herself or afraid to admit it, or she hates all women.
I find myself deeply disturbed by this glimpse into the mind of such a bigoted, hateful, clueless, woman who believes she is the be all and end all.